Filament bends at top of extruder fixes aren't working

my printer was working well until all of a sudden this started happening
I’ve taken it apart, cleaned it, greased it
moved where I place my filament
put a space heater in the room in case it was too cold
changed the nozzles, even increasing size to .8
tried multiple different print files
multiple different filaments
changed out the hot end, and the extruder it’s self
I’ve done every physical thing I can think of
Every large fix I’ve tried only has ever managed to get me roughly 1.5 hours worth of printing before it fails again
after a few tries to fix it and with the new one I’ve even had trouble getting the filament to retreat without sticking
the last fail I had to take the whole thing apart just to take out the filament because it wouldn’t go down or come out the top

one of the suggestions was that there is a problem with the firmware but I can’t find a link to the update and I’ve seen some people say it bricked their printer which I definitely don’t want

I use the cura slicer, I’ve tried the prusa but it I can’t get it to work right at all

the alternate extruder even leaves gear groves on the filament

my firmware I have is V1 1.5
marlin version 2.0.9.2

Hi,
Did you not overtighten the filament gripping screw in the extruder?

Seeing the filament path would help…spool to hotend.
Can you post a pic of the whole printer so we can see where you’ve mounted the spool…??

tried it at various tightness and even so loose that I think the thing may fall off, but that didn’t help

don’t have a pic at the moment, but I’ve tried it in different spots since the original set up that came with the printer kept failing, my current set up was working well enough to print a 3 day long print (longest I’ve done) with no issues before this happened, I’ve also preemptively pulled a bit down so that it couldn’t catch and it’ll still do the bending when the filament above the extruder is totally loose